One of the last memories I have of grandpa is a conversation I overheard he and my dad having a short time before he passed away. What I heard my grandpa say in this conversation has often echoed in my mind for the last 15 years, and still continues to challenge me on a daily basis.
"What more could I have done?" This is the question I remember my grandpa asking as he laid there in a hospital bed in his living room. After all the years of ministry, preaching, teaching, pastoring, mentoring, and countless hours spent working at the church and campground, now laying here knowing that he is near the end, he asks "What more could I have done?" Of all the things he could have been focused on in that moment (and I'm sure there were a lot of things on his mind) this was the most important. What one more thing could I have done to advance the Kingdom of Heaven? What one more soul could I have reached? What one more person could I have disciple? I truly believe this was the most important question on his heart at that moment.
That question still echoes in my heart today. In that moment, though he didn't even realize it, my grandpa was painting me a picture of what real servanthood looks like. He could have been worried about any number of things going on around him, he could have been satisfied with a successful ministry, but that just wasn't him. His greatest desire was to be a servant to the Master, and to please Him. This to me is true servanthood. No matter what circumstances are, no matter how tired you are, no matter how much success or failure you've had, continually asking "What more can I do?"
Now, nearly 15 years later as we are faced with a world that says "Do what's convenient for you.", "Take care of yourself first.", and "I'll only help if I get something out of it too.", grandpa's words still ring in my ears. They challenge me as I wake up in the morning, to take time to meet with the Master and ask "What more can I do?". Not just when it's convenient, not just when I'm bored or feel I have nothing better to do, but in every day no matter how I feel about it. What more can I give? Is there something I'm holding back? What more can I do now to serve my Master?
I am so thankful for the great example my grandpa was, but it means nothing if I only look at his example and do nothing to follow it. I pray that in a world that chooses to do what's convenient, God would use me to be a servant, to reach souls for Him, to follow the examples set before me. That no matter my situation, my feelings, my successes, my failures, my setbacks, the continual cry of my heart would now and forever be "What more can I do?"